Golden Gym Rules

I go to the gym to train, to focus, to do my thing. 

I don’t ‘hang.’ I don’t train to pick up guys. I don’t train to get attention. I don’t train to spend hours of my day to make the day go by. When I’m there I’m doing what is on my list, I do what I need to do to achieve or maintain my standards. And anyone or anything that comes in the way of that simply annoys me.

Yes, I am selfish. I pay the gym to use their machines, I pay to be there. So, it comes natural to want or expect certain things.

Here is my list

Yes, you might think I need to “chill” or “don’t take it so seriously” but you know what? I do, and that’s why I am quite decent at what I do…

1. Don’t ask to share my bench/spot if there is plenty of other benches in the same area. This is something usually occurring when male trainers use their clients as a bate in order to initiate a conversation with training women. I am not stupid, I see where it’s going: you want to find some chit chat time in between sets. Well, I don’t want you stand over me and ask to spot! Get it?!

2. I do not want to wipe urine of the toilet cause you cannot focus your stream in a straight line. But, since I am respectful I have no other choice but to do so since the person coming after me to use the restroom will believe I was the bad urinator and that I don’t want. So, I turn into a cleaning lady every time. That’s what’s taking me so long.

3. Please use deodorant. Or wash your clothes. I don’t see how you can go through life without anyone telling you you need to take care of your hygiene but it makes me scatter minded when I’d rather smell my anus rather than your odor.

4. Understand that I am not “mad at you” cause I choose not to talk every time we train in the same space.

5. If you ask me right out “do you compete” and I ignore it cause I don’t want to engage in any conversation, realize I am trying to be polite by ignoring like I am not hearing you talking to me. So, do not ask the question three times so I have no option but to snap.

6. Understand that if I smile it’s not an invitation to ask me out for dinner later that hour. A smile from a woman does not mean she’s into you.

7. Don’t ask me to spot you. Get it, you’re 250 pounds and lift 100 lbs dumbbells in your dumbbell presses. What the heck do you want a 115 lb woman to do: put her boobs in your face when bending over to spot you? No way, get a man your own size to truly spot you!

8. Do not think it’s free access to talk just because I am not wearing headphones while doing cardio.

9. Know the rules in the gym: you don’t take the power rack meant for squats to do biceps curls unless there is no line waiting to squat. You don’t use a bench for your water bottle and newspaper if someone needs that bench.

10. Get it that I don’t want you to stretch 3 feet behind me when I squat or deadlift.

11. Don’t discuss with me “the news and drama on facebook” in the gym.

12. Don’t say “smile!!” to me when you’re not my friend or anyone I even know

13. Gay guys, I love you, but when you are pissed at me cause I look like you want to look. I am not on steroids or secretly a man just because I happen to have better biceps than you.

 

Then, let’s move over to the positive list of things I appreciate, so here is my list on that

1. Women, when you smile at me, you make me happy and I smile back. I appreciate it cause when women smile at other women it’s sincerely meant as a confirmation of sisterhood.

2. Gentlemen, when you offer me your dumbbells cause you can always use a bit heavier, that’s appreciated.

3. Gentleman, when you let me use the restroom before you, that’s polite and you deserve a smile.

4. Gentlemen who understand I am not into conversation when I stretch in awkward positions.

5. Gentlemen who understand that the only ok thing to ask about is training and not if you’re married or wants to have a cup of coffee.

6. Ladies, when you ask for advice and then actually use the info you get, that’s sweet.

7. People who show respect by doing their own thing.

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